Why We Need to Listen When People Say They Don’t Feel That They Belong

What words do you use to guide your organization’s racial equity work?

We were recently asked to share our thoughts on this article, “Why Some Companies Are Saying ‘Diversity and Belonging’ Instead of ‘Diversity and Inclusion.’”

My tradition, Jewish tradition, teaches that “words create worlds.” At The Ross Collective, we believe that words matter!

Belonging is a powerful idea. In the work that we do with historically white nonprofit boards, we talk frequently about belonging.

What is belonging?

Belonging is creating a circle in which anyone who comes into the circle feels loved and affirmed for all of the parts of their identity.

Inclusion or welcoming can feel more hierarchical – as a white person, I have the privilege to include or welcome people of other identities.

But belongin can be an equalizer in which everyone who comes into the circle feels equal with everyone else in the circle.

In thinking about belonging, we are reminded of Tiana (not her real name), a professional Black woman serving as one of the few Black members on the board of one of our client organizations.

Tiana explained that she did not feel a sense of belonging, since she perceived that the mostly white, wealthy members of the board were part of a similar social circle that she was not a part of.

Part of our work with the board was surfacing Tiana’s perspective in our board assessment and encouraging the board to reflect on how all board members want to feel as they join a board.

Although we focus on belonging around racial equity and shifting the culture to build belonging for people of all races, we have heard from white people that a focus on belonging benefits everyone – there are a lot of white people who feel left out too! Which makes sense, because as Black feminist visionaries of the Combahee River Collective suggested many years ago, “Until Black Women are Free, None of Us Will Be Free.”

Belonging = Reciprocity

Belonging includes reciprocity. We can only create belonging when we understand the obstacles or barriers that others might face to experience belonging.

In other words, I need to look at you and consider, “How are you experiencing this board or team? What holds you back from belonging? And what do we all need to change to shift things?”

But belonging is not everything.

Belonging is a powerful idea that, if applied effectively, can combat the burnout, lack of meaning and disconnection that many board and staff members are currently feeling.

But just belonging is not enough. Along with belonging, a board or staff team needs to look at how policies and practices impact who has power in the organization and to consider those who are excluded from power.

That means that the people closest to the problems are weighing in on the solutions. When we lead strategic planning or board conversations on racial equity with people from diverse racial backgrounds, we frequently ensure that a member of the facilitation team is Black, Indigenous or a Person of Color (BIPOC)– so that one of the facilitators has the lived experience to “hold” the experiences of other BIPOC on the board or staff team. This approach has resonated with several recent strategic planning clients.(Contact us if you’d like to learn more.)

Want to learn more about how we are approaching this – and share your challenges? We will be co-presenting a white caucus space for facilitators next week on the topic of how white facilitators can support BIPOC colleagues. As always, we would love to hear from you directly as well - if you’re unable to attend this event, please reach out with your questions.