Some words for tough days like this one
Hi friends, colleagues and community,
The mood in our home this morning was shock, sadness, anger and shame.
As I walked into the living room, our dog wagged his tail at me with his big puppy eyes. “He knows how sad we’re all feeling at this moment,” I thought. And then I broke down into tears again.
ID: Our cute puppy, to help you feel better too.
Although there were many indicators over the past weeks and months of how the national election results might go, gut punch doesn’t even begin to describe the feelings I am having.
I notice that some parts of me feel a kind of deadness. I’m overwhelmed by disappointment and grief. One place that hurts deeply is thinking about our children and the state of the world they are inheriting - and thinking about all children around our country and the future they are inheriting.
Moments of Giving Up
This sadness feels familiar. There have been other moments where I felt like rolling into a little ball and giving up:
One of them was getting fired from what I thought was my dream job. (Hint - it wasn’t. And working through that trauma led to finding work that brings a deeper sense of meaning and purpose.)
Another was experiencing so many of the same feelings when we got the shock of the election result eight years ago in 2016.
Still another was the lockdown of the Covid-19 pandemic. As a consulting firm that had been leading in-person retreats and meetings, we needed to figure out how to do things differently in order to stay in business.
But you know what? I’m not giving the other side the satisfaction of beating me down. To give up and to stop fighting is to let them win. The part of me that is furious about all of this is determined not to let that happen.
What I’m doing today is feeling all of the feelings AND not giving into despair - because that’s what the other side wants: For us to make ourselves smaller, give up and stop pushing to bring our values of justice and equity to all.
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Four powerful steps for challenging moments
Because we have all had some discouraging and hard moments in the past, we’ve written a lot about what to do on days like today. Here are four ideas:
Name what is in the room now
Name what’s in the room - Acknowledge what you are feeling. If you are a leader, create space for those around you to process their feelings. This grief can be exhausting and draining — so give everyone some room and some time.
Reconnect with your values
Go back to your values - these are your North Star. When we feel confused by unsettling events, values get us back on track. The Ross Collective’s values are building an equitable, inclusive world in which people of all races, genders and backgrounds have what they need to thrive. We know that so many of you who are feeling sadness and disappointment today share those values - and that we need to keep bringing them to light for the millions of others around the world who share this.
Speak up specifically for justice
As a leader, this is a moment to speak —with specificity—about what you are trying to bring into the world. A few months ago we shared a post on political advocacy for nonprofits. A key idea is that, “As long as nonprofits stay away from discussing specific candidates, political parties, or endorsing candidates, you are good.” Once you begin to sort out your big feelings around the outcome of the election, this is a time to use your platform to share and expand your work, which is more needed than ever.
Amplify love
Whenever given the choice, choose love Today feels so painful for so many communities. Love is a balm to send care in many directions - to those we know and those we have not met.
How are you? Sending love and comfort your way in this hard moment.