Right Now, the Radical Kindness and Love of a N95 Mask

Greetings.

I want to say “Happy New Year!” but that doesn’t seem like the right greeting given the times we’re in.

As I write this, friends and colleagues have shared that they have breakthrough COVID. They are not severely ill, but need to quarantine for five to ten days.

Many in-person celebrations, meetings, or meals have been cancelled, postponed, or moved to virtual to keep everyone safe.

Some of our middle schooler’s teachers announced an informal “sickout” this week due to staffing shortages and concerns about their safety.

After an in-person meeting was announced and then cancelled an hour later, we got the note, “Sorry for the confusion…It seems to be going around these days!”

Confusion, uncertainty, and anxiety are as viral as the Omicron variant.


I keep writing these posts saying it can’t get any worse. And then…

Well, if things aren’t getting worse, they aren’t exactly getting better yet either.

This led me to reflect upon my earlier parenting days. One of the most profound ideas I learned is that we can only “fill our children’s cups” after our own cups are filled. In other words, we as parents or caregivers will only have the ability to be present for a child’s strong emotions (especially appropriate when parenting a screaming toddler) when someone is there to listen to and be present for our strong feelings.

It’s like they say on the airplanes in the case of an emergency, put our mask on first, then put it on our child(ren). Moving this analogy into COVID times, we take care of and protect ourselves first by putting on our N95 mask. But the mask doesn’t just protect us as individuals—it protects us as a collective. For that reason, I call these N95 Actions, creating a larger circle of kindness and love that expands outward.


How do we, as individuals and teams, remain resilient in these times?

We’ve been riding these rapids for a while so a number of ideas have been generated:

One suggestion is to find restorative spaces and times.

Another is to bring compassion and care to each of our interactions—with individuals, or in meetings.

As a leader, you need to name what’s in the room—so your team can move through it.

Here is a three-step process to bring energy and empathy to your meetings.


We need to look for the N95 Actions that protect and support us and others:

There is significant research that kindness and generosity are linked to greater life satisfaction, stronger relationships, even living longer. When our moment starts to wobble, we each need to look for opportunities for small and large kindnesses.

For me, this means to look for opportunities where I can be kind (or maybe kinder on those high stress days) in my personal life. But it is also a time to reflect and recognize the blessings that I receive through the kindness of others. Often, the size of the kindness is less important than the act of the kindness.

I would love to hear how your kindness has affected others—or how you have been affected by the kindness of others. Hit reply and let us know what you came up with!

I think it’s also important to note that The Ross Collective’s ongoing work on racial justice is an N95 Action. The trauma and unfairness of racial inequality hurts all of us. Leading conversations to surface this and move towards individual and collective healing is personally and socially meaningful.

So, please share: What N95 Actions will you take this week, this month, and in 2022?