How to Handle Toxic Board or Staff Members: A Crucial Tip for Leaders
We have gotten so much positive feedback for the hundreds of meetings and trainings we have led over the past few years. That is by design - many hours of planning go into the retreats and conversations that we lead. Our work focuses on guiding groups to build an expansive, inspiring vision together.
AND… occasionally hard things happen, causing us to reflect on the leadership needed in challenging situations.
The board meeting that went off track
A while back, we presented at a board meeting that went off track.
The Ross Collective was at the board meeting to present the organization’s strategic plan, which had been informally approved by our staff contacts and key board members.
A new board member, William (not his real name), joined the board a few months before.
William had been involved with the organization at its founding and did not approve of the organization’s current direction. He believed that this organization should return to its original roots.
Walking out of the strategic planning retreat
William was so unhappy with the organization’s direction that he walked out of the daylong strategic planning retreat. We were surprised, since this was something we had not experienced before.
After William walked out of the retreat, he sent an e-mail to Board members explaining his reason for walking out and that he did not appreciate the positive, participatory nature of the conversations.
We had a short, constructive discussion. We agreed that the staff and board members in the room would create the organization’s vision and strategy together. By choosing to walk out, William forfeited his opportunity to weigh in on the direction of the organization.
Angry words at the board meeting
Given all of this, we should not have been surprised about what happened at the board meeting to approve the strategic plan. Even though he had left the strategic planning retreat, William had a lot of opinions and critical comments about the final strategic plan.
The staff did not agree with William. They said they felt that the strategic plan gave them a roadmap to move forward. Several board members shared that they were ready to approve the plan.
In the end, the plan was approved by the board, with a request to do more work on how the plan would be communicated.
As the consultants, it felt bad to experience this meeting and conversation. Every other strategic plan we have worked on has been approved by the board and staff with unanimous positive acclaim. It caused us to reflect: What happened?
Upon some reflection: William’s actions created a toxic culture on the board - which damaged our process, and was hurting the work of the organization overall.
Five key indicators of toxic culture
If you have been in the world of work for any amount of time, you’ve probably come across an individual who creates a toxic culture through their actions.
According to research, these five attributes are correlated with the most negative ratings of company culture:
Disrespectful
Non-inclusive
Unethical
Cutthroat
Abusive
Someone becomes toxic rather than difficult when they are not open to feedback
You might wonder about the difference between someone who is difficult or quirky versus someone who is toxic.
What we have seen again and again is that toxic people are not open to feedback. They believe that the ends - getting the outcome that they want - justify the means of treating others with exclusion, disrespect and abuse.
Meeting Agreements and Civility Clauses don’t work for toxic people
We’ve written previously about starting with meeting agreements in order to build a positive, constructive tone for a conversation.
Unfortunately, meeting agreements or civility clauses, which are proactive measures to encourage positive culture, don’t work for toxic people. Because they generally do not have the ability to reflect on their behavior and how it impacts others, they see themselves as above these kinds of agreements and will argue that those kinds of rules do not apply to them.
Toxic culture is the strongest predictor of attrition
We have heard a lot of justifications for not dealing with toxic people, “He’s a high performer, we need to keep him on the team even though he has some conflicts.”
But research indicates that toxic culture is the strongest predictor of good people leaving an organization. In other words, others notice toxic behavior and often make the self-preserving decision to step away.
Leadership means standing up to toxic people
We do hear from leaders who are afraid of that toxic person on their board or staff.
And we have compassion for this perspective. There’s something about the abuse and negativity that a toxic person brings that causes contraction. In the face of getting yelled at, many of us, especially if we have a history with toxic people, can feel ourselves getting smaller.
But leadership means standing up to toxic people. It is not easy, it is important -- to move any organization towards a more positive, successful culture.
In the end, that’s what happened with William. We shared our perspective with the Board president. She gave him some feedback about his actions, and when he was not responsive, asked him to leave the board. Going forward, the board added some language about civility to their Code of Conduct.
Leading with courage and compassion
We encourage our clients to act with courage and compassion. We felt proud to see this emerge from such a challenging situation. Obviously, not all situations are so quickly identified and resolved, which can be tricky in and of itself.
A friend once shared that his high school band teacher had a wall of quotes and one that stuck out from all those years ago was that if you put a drop of wine in toxic waste, it would still be toxic waste. But if you put a drop of toxic waste in a barrel of wine, it would all be toxic waste. We strive to maintain the ‘barrel of wine’ workplace culture through setting strong expectations and participative strategic planning.
What about you? How have you - or others - taken a leadership stance with a toxic person? How did that go?
And reach out directly to us if you’d like some support strengthening a positive organizational culture - we each need so much more of this right now.