How meeting challenges with resilience, presence and love can be a superpower

A while back, a colleague shared the story on social media of his gold-paved journey to success.

It went something like this: right out of college, he got a prestigious job. His can-do spirit led to a promotion within a short time. This led to even greater responsibility and being selected to direct the whole department and then the whole organization. Eventually he was such a star that he was ready for new opportunities. That led to starting his own consulting firm, which has, you guessed it, made multiple figures from the day it opened for business.

Many people congratulated this colleague on how much he has accomplished. And I have got to admit that I was impressed and proud to know him.

But I had another reaction too: Man, that is not me!

Hitting the wall - and finding compassion

I have zigged. I have zagged. I have worked in toxic organizations with toxic bosses. I have gotten fired from what I thought was my “dream job.” I have hit a complete slowdown of The Ross Collective and wondered whether I was going to need to roll up into a little ball and give up.

All of this is to say, I have encountered many challenges in accomplishing my goals – and still do.

I am guessing that if you are reading this, you have zigged, zagged, and struggled too. So many of us have, so many of us are struggling with challenges in different areas.

So, here’s the thing – because I have hit so many challenges in my own work, I have A LOT of compassion for the challenges that so many of the leaders we work with are encountering. I do not feel afraid of those hard situations.

It’s more than that. Way more than that.

What challenges actually mean

I have a little obsession with blockages and challenges.

I know that blockages and challenges probably sound like weird things to be obsessed with.

But let me explain.

We all hit the wall and find ourselves in moments in which we are stuck, discouraged, and feel like giving up.

Why we get stuck

Sometimes we are stuck because we do not yet have the skills or competency to jump through the next hoop.

Sometimes we are stuck through no fault of our own! We are swimming along in a world that is racist, sexist, ageist, able-ist, homophobic, or so many other -isms in which some people have waaaay more privilege.

For many of the leaders we are working with, getting stuck comes from a good place. They are trying to do all the things and it is hard.

But whatever the reason, it can feel like too much.

But (stay with me here), those moments of challenge can be generative ones.

Challenges contain energy

What some of us find is that on the other side of the wall is something incredible.

Why do some people – and organizations – push against that wall, and possibly even knock it down?

A lot of people do give up – in so many different ways. And sometimes, giving up is the right move.

But some people do not give up – on themselves, their organization, their community. They find resilience inside themselves and alongside others sharing similar goals.

How do they not give up? Why do they not give up? How are leaders overcoming the challenges that we are all encountering?

I believe that “you’ve got to name it to tame it” – that you have got to understand what you are pushing against to find the way through.

Challenges contain energy. To care about a problem is to begin to build a foundation towards a solution. For that reason, approaching a challenge with presence and love - as we do with our clients - is to take a step towards clarity and resolution.

Models help too

But presence and love alone are not enough. We need models, to understand how others have moved through challenges and found a path forward.

That’s what this series is about. For the next few posts, we will be writing about challenges our clients are encountering – around their programs, community, funding, and other topics, and the actions they are taking, with our support, to work through these challenges. I am writing some of the posts and have recruited colleagues from around the country to share some stories too. If you have a story to share, reach out, we will possibly include it!

And what about me? I still zig and zag – a bit. And I also feel incredible gratitude for the work we get to do every day, guiding leaders in inclusive processes and sharing these processes with a next generation of leaders and facilitators. If I missed something by following the straight path like my colleague, I have gained through experiencing the texture of the road that so many of us are on. I hope the anecdotes and lessons from these experiences over the next few weeks will help you to determine how you should push through the challenges you are facing.

As always, we’re just a quick email away – I don’t ever mean to make light of a difficult situation, which can certainly feel dire in the heat of the moment. We would love to design processes that support you to find solutions for your challenges. The clients that chose to work with us do so because we bring resilience, presence and love. And we share insights and tools to support the zigging and zagging that is called life.